sometimes i have dreams that you're still alive. that i'm in another town and see you there. maybe you're married, sometimes you aren't. and things are still awkward. like instead of hugging me you scratch my arm. these dreams are good. much better than the nightmares i've had before. in these you look happy and healthy. last night you were playing drums in a band.
even in sleep, i'm totally confused by running into you and have a tendency to toss and turn until i wake up, feeling relieved and sad all at once. but i still feel thankful that i can remember you so vividly. that i can recall so many things about your face, that when i visualize it, it's like you're standing in right front of me. and i am grateful for these dreams. these little reminders of you.
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